nurse and determined to be decisions about family health

A local adoption agency was found to be
supportive and informative for them. The couple attended
an information meeting. After much intense emotional
discussion, the couple pursued more information about
adoption with the support personnel from the agency. At
the end of May, Ben and Mare decided they wanted to
adopt a child and completed the application process.
Both Ben and Mare feel this was an emotional time for
them. After they made their decision to adopt, the next
steps were to decide from which country they wanted to
adopt a child, the child’s age, and which child. They decided
that, given their lifestyles and personalities, they
wanted to adopt an older child between 3 and 5 years of age
and not an infant. Ben wanted to adopt a son. Mare was
not selective of the gender. Ben felt that the issue of race
was important to him. He felt that he might have difficulty
bonding with a child of dark skin as his own family. Because
of Ben’s immediate family origins from Finland, they
decided to adopt a child from eastern Europe. Russia was
selected because of its historical ties with Finland.
Mare reviewed videotapes of 40 children and selected
the top male children for them to select from. Mare is a pediatric
nurse and was determined to be the one to make
the decisions about health. After viewing the films numerous
times and reviewing a medical examination, Alex was
the young child of choice. Ben and Mare made a formal
petition to adopt Alex.
The process has taken 6 months. They are currently
waiting for the final paperwork to arrive from the Russia
government, which is expected in the next few days. They
are in the midst of preparing their home for the arrival of
Alex. They will both travel to Russia in 2 weeks to pick him